Need a (very long) break

Looks like will not gonna get another break for the upcoming months if my diagnosis come back positive with avascular osteonecrosis (AVN). Yep, that is the news. It is not confirmed yet because I was just having a pelvis MRI yesterday, hopefully next Tuesday I can already bring the result to my pulmonary oncologist (which is currently already acting like my primary doctor huff ). I’m quite sure that AVN will be the comeback positive because it fit will all symptoms and my back medical background aside from this I’ve seen two different orthopedic surgeons both of them suspected me with this condition.

My current attitude is pretty much like the first time I’m dealing with my cancer diagnosis, again I’m feeling that roller coaster emotions during the past doc appointments, taking pain killers, scans and some blood works. It is like a déjà vu, these process brings me back to the memory of one year ago. The first reactions when I first suspected myself I was scared to death, lots of horrible thoughts in my mind. After researching after researching about the condition (that I’ve suspected), seeing second opinions from other orthopedic surgeon from other hospitals and waiting for MRI my attitude was just like: Okay tell me what it is and let’s work on it.

MRI result will come back next Tuesday, on that same day I will also have my six monthly thorax CT evaluation (hopping for clear scan result, so I will continue with annual scan only for surveillance), I will meet my pulmonary oncologist (doctor Sita) because the BPJS can’t schedule earlier then I will see doctor Muki in different hospital (which is luckily just across the street of Siloam cancer center). Good thing to see my tom see my pulmo first because I could discuss what are the possible treatment options from her perspective (given she is my primary doctor), any concerns given my seminoma history and soon. From my first appointment with doctor Muki if it confirm AVN in this early stage he would think about the hyperbaric oxygen therapy, this mean I will also have to ask doctor’s Sita’s approval. I really don’t want the treatments for one condition caused another sickness for my bod, I don’t want another side effects. I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired, can't they just give me a long break, a very long break from therapies, meds, doc appointments, scans and everything? A very long break please.